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[Previous Joke: "New Cabinets"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "Where's The Remote?"]
Best T-Shirts
(around a picture of dandelions) I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won
So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me
I Suffer Occasional Delusions of Adequacy
God Made Us Sisters, Prozac Made Us Friends
If They Don't Have Chocolate In Heaven, I Ain't Going
My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips
I Just Do What The Voices Inside My Head Tell Me To Do
(Worn by a pregnant woman) A Man Did This To Me, Oprah
If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?
Senior Citizen: Give Me My Damn Discount
Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog
No, It Doesn't Hurt (on a "well-tattooed gentleman")
(On the back of a passing motorcyclist) If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off
I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now
(Over the outline of the state of Minnesota) My Governor Can Beat Up Your Governor
Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. Did a Little Shopping.
I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian
(on the Front) Yale Is Just One Big Party!
(on the back) With a $25,000 Cover Charge
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich
Liberal Arts Major...Will Think For Money
Growing Old is Inevitable; Growing Up is Optional
IRS -- Be Audit You Can Be
Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law.
If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen
Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship
In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take.
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I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. -- Henny Youngman
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