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[Previous Joke: "Being Silent"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "Dead or Alive"]
High-Tech Redneck
- You might be a high-tech redneck if...
- Your e-mail address ends in "@over.yonder.com."
- You connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."
- If the bumper sticker on your truck says, "My other computer is a laptop."
- Your laptop has a sticker that says, "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
- You've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.
- Your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.
- You wire your network with jumper cables.
- Your wife said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don't miss her.
- You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your drink on.
- You ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."
- Three Words: Daisy Duke Screensaver
- You start all your e-mails with the words, "Howdy y'all."
- Your spell checker knows words like, "Y'all", "Yonder", and "Reckon."
- Your cars sit in the yard because your garage is full of dead CPUs, printers, modems and monitors.
- Your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5" disk drive.
- You ever felt you had to move your computer desk so it didn't block the velvet picture of Elvis.
- Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spitcan.
- Smith & Wesson...the original Point-N-Click interface.
- When you're friends comment on your "nice boots" and you say, "Yea, thanks. Its my spiffy, new Phoenix BIOS."
- When your wife catches you again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.
- When you order your new pick-up truck with a gun rack and PCMCIA sockets.
- Your PC Games collection consists of nothing but Bass Fishing tournament games.
- You only buy from GateWay, 'cause the cow-colored boxes are a hoot.
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If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires. -- Abigail Van Buren
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