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[Previous Joke: "Not A Bother Any More"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "The Little Turtle"]
Advice From Men To Women
Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'
If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it.
Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one.
Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.
Please don't drive when you're not driving.
Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punch line.
The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference!
When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.
When I ask, 'How many guys have you slept with?' It would be much appreciated if you did not answer honestly.
When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying 'Oh, this is our exit, Honey' is not really necessary.
When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.
The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.
SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister.
Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?
If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.
It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together!
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Motion pictures developed from many different traditions, including theater and magic shows, but also from the Victorian fascination with the phenomenon of persistence of vision. The human brain retains an image for a fraction of a second longer than the eye actually sees it. That is why the world doesn't suddenly go black every time you blink. When you watch a movie, what you are actually seeing are individual still frames of film projected at 24 frames per second. Each of these frames is separated by darkness, so you are sitting in a dark theater about half of the time. The images are discontinuous; that is, all of the action that happened between the frames is not represented. Because of persistence of vision, what you perceive is one image blending into the next, giving the illusion of movement and continuity. The dark spaces are "ignored" by the brain.
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