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[Previous Joke: "The Watch Dog!"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "Marylou"]
Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned From My Cat!
* Life is hard, then you nap.
* Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
* When in doubt, cop an attitude.
* Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.
* Climb your way to the top--that's why drapes are there.
* Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
* Find your place in the sun--especially if it happens to be on that nice pile of warm, clean laundry.
* Make your mark in the world--or at least spray in each corner.
* When eating out think nothing of sending back your meal twenty or thirty times.
* If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.
* Always give generously--a small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care."
* When you go out into the world, remember: being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.
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My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other...
....so now it's just a waiting game!
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