| Home |
|
|
|
| Hooverdog.com : Good Joke : You'll Know Yours Is A Redneck Church If: |
|
|
|
||||
[Previous Joke: "Spare Parts"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "The "Forwarder's" 12 Step Program"]
You'll Know Yours Is A Redneck Church If:
* The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
* People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
* The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up.
* Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
* A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
* The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
* In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
* Baptism is referred to as "branding".
* There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
* Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
* High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
* People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
* The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
* The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
* The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
* And of course... if the pastor has fewer teeth than Leon Spinks!
======================
"We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet." -- Hewlett Packard excuse to Steve Jobs, who founded Apple Computers instead.
Copyright Hooverdog.com 2006